what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
