I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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