god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
