There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
