its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
