the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize