We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
