If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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