hotel room ftw
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
