Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
