I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
