I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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