In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
