omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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