I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize