so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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