Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
