Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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