I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize