Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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