I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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