Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize