have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
