I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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