im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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