If i come over, it means nothing
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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