he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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