and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I want a musical about memes.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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