you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
