Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
