As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
