I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
