I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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