WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
