He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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