That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
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He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
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If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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