somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
