Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
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Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
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Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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