I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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