I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
