i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
