i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
