laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
