sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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