Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
NoShamevember. You game?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
