I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
