if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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