Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
