Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
