Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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