maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
