That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
