i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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