Umm I'm too high to move.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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