I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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