I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
